Princess
by dragonheartt
Summary: When she was little she imagined herself a princess.


When Abby was little and she could pretend things were ok, she used to imagine that she was a princess and could tell people what to do. her parents would stop fighting for a little while as she strutted around in a purple gauzy tutu with a too-big plastic crown atop her golden hair.

When Jack was born and the fighting got worse and Abby started getting older, she imagined herself in control, being able to command that they end their fighting, and dote upon her and her brother like she thought they ought to. Jack tried on a tutu and put a paper cup on his head and toddled after his big sister, because he wanted to be just like her.

When their father left and never came back and their mother turned to bad things and her new boyfriend hit them, Abby took off her plastic crown and hid away her tutu, but she still imagined herself as a princess. Just now one stuck in a tower, with a fire-breathing dragon at her door and a little brother to protect. She didn't imagine a prince coming to rescue her, because she didn't think anyone could help - and besides that, she was in charge, she didn't need to be saved.

When they were finally taken away, Abby thought for a moment that she didn't need to be a princess in her mind any more, but it turned out that she was wrong and she beat the fact that she was capable and no pushover into the next kid who tried to hurt her little brother. She imagined herself as a princess who kicked butt, who saved the day. Jack trailed after his sister and imagined himself as a prince, getting what he wanted and making the rules. He looked up to her till, but he wasn't the same as Abby.

When she found out her 'mother' was dead, Abby felt no sadness. She also felt no relief. Not until she thought of the Galapogos, and how happy they all had been in those moments. That was when she cried.

When a boy made fun of another by calling him a princess, a girl, Abby struck him, and told them there was nothing weak or insulting about being a girl. Having to beat them both up only taught them girls could be physically strong and angry enough for all their self-righteous fury combined, and that they should be frightened of her. It was the only thing Abby could think to do, regardless of the detention she recieved.

When Jack started copying her violence but not her motives or methods, started acting out in classes and cursing out people, Abby didn't know what to do. She was a princess floundering for something to grasp as a flood bore her away, and her brother floated past without a care.

Medicines for Jack's ADD, martial arts classes for them both to release tension and anger, therapists and words and words and words. One had them draw, though Abby felt she was far too old for expressing how she felt in pictures. She relaxed as she drew with the crayons, and in the end realized she had drawn herself and her brother as children, both in their princess outfits, on a beach with a big turtle beside them, and their parents holding hands. Scribbly and messy and it made emotion catch in her throat. She ran from the therapist's office.

She died her hair white. It shocked people and she loved how it seperated her from her childhood, from her mother who she had looked so much like.

Foster home to foster home, no one loved them for very long before sending them on. No one wanted their problems, not combined at least and Abby would not allow herself and her brother to be seperated, as much as he seemed to not care at all about her any more.

He wasn't sure what he wanted. A home, like Abby did, and love, but he knew quicker than her that it wouldn't last.

They became jaded, prince and princess of an imaginary castle, sat on opposite ends of a room.

Abby reluctantly left Jack in foster care and went off to uni. She dropped out of uni after a year and a half, and found her 'dream job' rather quickly.

The princess' window in the tower was open to the sky, and a long-necked dinosaur lifted a boy up up up. he peeked through the window and gave her a paper heart and then shyly asked to be her friend. Dinosaurs? Yes, dinosaurs.

Abby's life was caught up into chaos but she was happy in it, with it, happy with her life finally after so many years. She felt guilty about leaving her brother behind, but this was about her happiness, and he could find his own. Connor was a surprise. He came into her life with his soulful eyes and his cheeky grin and his horrid attempts at chatting her up, with tricks that got him a place in her flat and heartbreak of his own when the thing that was making them all happy killed his friend, and he stayed in her heart as her best mate. She loved him from the get go, but not exactly as she knew he wanted her to. She was a princess, but she had no need of a prince. She should have known he wasn't trying to make her change. He was just there, intent on making her happy even as the world started going to shit around them, even when he got a girlfriend, even when stephen died. Abby was in charge of her own life but she didn't need a tutu or a fake crown to gain the respect of those around her. They loved her and understood her and made her think that maybe love wont always end in heartbreak. Each time someone died this became less about the joy of it and more about a job, a duty. But despite how grey things became, Connor was still there, making sure they were - making sure she was - happy.

She could hardly choose between her brother and the man she was afraid to love, but choices had to be made regardless. She was the princess of this tower, she made the decisions, and Connor respected that without question. Her guilt for not taking care of her brother recently made the decision for her.

Connor was not her prince, nor a knight in shining armor. A geek in dented armor, perhaps, but he had no motives here. Unerringly unselfish as he had matured to be, she knew she could count on him if she had to - and accepted that a princess, or anyone, doesn't always need to be 100% in control, can afford to lean on a friend sometimes. She finally understood that, to some degree.

Later, after the kiss, after her fear made her clam up, after they got lost in time and Connor, wounded and exhausted as he was implored to be let back in to the flat, and they had to live together in the cretaceous for a year, after they fell in love and let the words be spoken, Abby thought that she understood it much more. A princess or anyone else doesn't always need to be saved, they can do the saving, but sometimes you need help and that's alright too.

It took her years to realize tears were not a weakness, to realize that loving someone and wanting them around was not the same as needing someone, and that not all love would end in heartbreak.

Especially after Burton twisted things between them and she thought that perhaps she was naive to think that love is worth it. But no, it was, it is, she loves him and he loves her and it was enough to save the day and if that's not fairy tale-worthy she's not sure what is.

Connor is her prince because she is the princess and they love each other. They are happiest when they are together, and everyone around them benefits from their happiness.

Later, after things begin to settle down and they manage enough time off now that anomalies aren't quite a secret, Abby dragged Jack along to the Galapogos, where she was married, by James Lester, to one Connor Temple. A giant tortoise bit Jack's butt and Becker and Danny thought it was enough justice for the brat. No dinosaurs showed up to smash the beautiful sand castle someone had made, for which they were thankful. And Abby and Connor wore fake plastic crowns, which they switched after saying their vows.

Abby's a princess in her dress, she's amazing. Everyone agrees. Connor thinks she's amazing regardless of course, but she makes the dress look beautiful too. She doesn't need to imagine herself a princess when she's so much more than and so much better than that childish thought: she's Abby Maitland.


End file.
